La Niña Suite
The best measure of the weather is the view to the city; a white drape covers stage props. West, a sliver of neon sunset and the underside of cold ...Read More
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S---loved the poem, but let me first say how sad kathleen and i are about the flooding. we see the brisbane river now rising to a new crest sometime tomorrow---Wednesday. tragic. our thoughts are...
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Thanks a heap Bernie, glad this works for you. And yeah, the floods aree terrible, something like 20,000 houses inundated in brisbane alone. I was up there a couple of months ago and have a good...
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Bernie and all- how would this work as a revision for the Glenccoe section? Glencoe. In Summer we made love outside, at the edge of dams, beneath eucalypts. On rainy days we gave ourselves carpet...
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Sam, Unfairly focusing only on your last post, in passing, "carpet burns by the fireplace" maybe 'carpet burns by the furnace' ? Sorry, I should read it all and carefully, and I hope I will. P---
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S---the original and the revision both work for me. the f word works for some, not for others. it just semed a little out of place in this otherwise tailored poem. i know it's not for shock value....
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SamI think the two 'f' words ,flooding and 'f-king' depict a force of action which is not premeditated.Compared to that ,'making love' sounds tepid and diluted like a milk and water description.Siva
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SamAs Poetema says ,furnace to replace fireplace,because furnace is more intense, and fireplace is like the furniture in a room.Sivakami
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SamOur family and friends feel for what has happened.It has taken us so much time for the impact to register,and I feel bad about that.Siva
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Thanks Siva- it's been a dramatic tragedy for so many people. I've got friends up there who lost a lot, a colleague of mine's grandmother lost everything in her house. Furnace sounds good to me
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F--ucked--what happens with it is that the rest of the poem is devoid of it, so, whether or not it is for shock value is irrelevant--it is a fluorescent light akin to an advertisement atop a building....
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BillyI agree with you,now.Not once did I think about the character of the N.Siva
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Gorgeous work, Sam. As Billy says, accomplished. I found it stunning. I keep vacillating over "fucking." I think it's lost (most of) its shock value and seems fairly common parlance, but I guess...
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I honestly feel like "fuck" is there just to get the ball rolling...(crit talk) , to express aliveness, (maybe, even to keep the writing muscle warm), and see if any readers are alive and paying...
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"Furnace sounds good to me' are you serious? "furnace" as in fucking on hands and knees, beside it? Or just burns from wood being fed to the furnace, and shooting off sparks? That would be something...
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Hey guysall the debate about the Glencoe section got me thinking that maybe it just doesn't need to be there- then i saw Osal's suggestion along the same lines. While i'm happy with the overall poem,...
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Sam, So glad to see you here at the waters. I've been out of the game for a long, long time, but I hope I can get back in soon. I liked these very much. You had me from here: and the underside of cold...
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Hey Michael, great to see you too. I'd also been out of the game too much for my liking over the past twelve months, but am trying to be more inspired and disciplined about it Your comments make a lot...
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